A lack of confidence is one of the main complaints I have been hearing lately from my clients. Many people feel that they are not confident but do we really understand what confidence is? And is there anything we can do to increase our confidence?
Well what exactly is confidence? Confidence is an emotional state. Like any emotion it can come and go, be high or low. Confidence is something that comes easily for some but takes a lot of work for others. However, one thing that I need to clear up is that it is absolutely possible for everyone to feel confident. Lack of confidence is by no means a simple personality trait. It is much more than that and confidence is something achievable for everyone (even if you cant perceive right this moment).
Confidence is about feeling equal to others. Something that really clicked for me quite a while back when I was not feeling confident at all is that if you realise everyone is human and no one is better than the next person, then there is no reason to feel that lack of confidence around others.
Confidence can be seen in your body posture. And did you know that by simply changing your posture to walk tall, chest out and head up high you will not only be perceived as a confident person by others but you will actually begin to feel more confident within yourself.
When I work with client who want to increase their confidence I give them an exercise to do daily called a positive stocktake. I have found this to be extremely beneficial at helping people feel more positive and confident in their everyday life.
1. List 5 things that were good today
2. List 5 things that you were disappointed about today
3. Come up with solutions to those things you were disappointed about/ what could you do differently next time.By looking at ways we can improve ourselves and reflecting positively on our day it can bring about great changes in confidence. This way when you are in the same situation in the future you will know what to do to create a more positive outcome. Its normal not to be perfect and not to get everything right the first time. That’s what makes you human and life is all about personal growth and development and learning from experiences. So next time you are feeling a lack of confidence just remember to hold yourself tall and think about what you could do to improve the situation. And never beat yourself up about something that has happened in the past, just take what you have learnt and move on!